Inappropriate Wedding Song Friday 6/30

This might be one of the most inappropriate songs regardless, the kind you dove to turn off in the car whilst driving with parents circa 1994.

Thing is, even though this would be a disaster at most weddings, I HEARD IT AT A WEDDING and it was unforgettable in every way…

The hour was wee.  Most guests had turned in, and the only people left were the bride & groom & a few close friends.  It was one of those frigid summer nights in the mountains of California, but I was nearing black-out drunk and I kept on dancing with my numb self.  “Closer” began out of nowhere, and I don’t remember how it happened, but someone started leading a slow-motion Electric Slide to the beat.  It was perfection, and everyone knew it.  Do I remember much else from that night besides puking in a sink?  No.  But I will never forget the Closer Electric Slide.

Still.. Not Safe For Weddings, in general.


Wedding Query of the Day: Weddings vs. Circuses

I read my usual wedding blogs over breakfast this morning, only to find yet ANOTHER circus-themed wedding post on 100 Layer Cake! Yes, this is an absurdly popular theme, not to mention carnival-themed weddings, steampunk weddings, and 20s flapper-themed weddings.  Maybe you’ve seen Hunger Games inspiration boards, and Star Wars/Tim Burton/D&D weddings on Off Beat Bride, but those are rare (and ultimately based on the couples’ serious fandom/personality/interests).  Let’s just focus on circus-themed weddings.

My query: why does anyone want their wedding to be circus-themed?  Unless your family is circus folk and the circus life is your heritage, I don’t get it.  (Although, if your family were circus folk, you wouldn’t have a circus-themed wedding. You’d have a circus wedding, in an actual circus tent.)

Some of these weddings aren’t even that over the (big…ughIhatemyself) top, but I bristle at them nonetheless:

1.  HAVE ANY OF THESE PEOPLE EVEN BEEN TO A CIRCUS?!?  I went to a circus once, and it was smelly and weird. The elephants looked depressed and the clowns were obviously sketchy.  The trapeze artists were cool, but you don’t see any trapeze artists at circus-themed weddings.  (Yet.)

2.  Who wants to attend a circus-themed wedding?  Who wants peanuts and cotton candy at a wedding?  “(Bride) & (Groom), omg I had so much fun at your circus-themed wedding!!  I will always remember eating cheap food and watching that guy breathe fire!  Oh, and the eternal promise you swore in front of everyone blah blah blah mainly I loved the carousel!!”  That would be my fear, personally.

I guess the other side of this argument is: let people do their wedding however they want, and they open the door to truly dazzling displays of creativity.  Or, why should a wedding be just a wedding?

To me, circus-themed weddings represent the worst of the wedding industry: let’s spend a crap-ton of money, turn a wedding into something else entirely, put it on the internet paired with the word “vintage”, and everyone will want it too.

classic wedding stress dreams

About 6 months ago, after the betrothed and I had made our guest list, found our venue, and set a date, the wedding stress dreams nestled in our bed with us and set up camp in our sleeping brains.  He says he has them every night. (alarming.)  I average 2 per week, that I can recall.

Last night it was like my psyche wasn’t even trying: I put on my wedding dress and it’s a short, pink, fluffy, ruffly mess.  But the show must go on.  Uh-oh!  We haven’t written our vows!! Now I have to spend the whole dream trying to find my soon-to-be husband to write our vows without him seeing me in my revolting dress.  CLASSIC.  After months of these silly nightmares, you’d think they’d get more interesting. (Am I really that worried about my dress?)  If I watch Game of Thrones before bed, I’d like some baby dragons or frozen zombies thrown in there.

Spice it up, sub-conscious.