The wedding is 9 days away.  I’m entering the period of time where if I accidentally cut my face or bruise my arm or burn myself on an iron again, it won’t be healed before the wedding.  Good luck to ME.


Signature Cocktail: The Meltdown

I had my first full-fledged bridal meltdown last weekend!  Wheee!

While sipping on gin & juice, the unexpected drink of choice for this summer o’ wedding madness, I walked out of a party mid-conversation and cried my eyes out on FH’s shoulder.  I can trace it back to the wedding, and the stress of planning, since the time the wedding planning takes is time I would otherwise use for writing, but the meltdown began as “I hate my job” and unravelled into “I have no time to write and I’m so unhappy”, and very soon was just a puddle of frustration.

See, I work in freelance commercial production and the jobs last 2-3 weeks at a time.  During that time, I work 12-15 hour days, and in the time between it’s expected that you have NO boundaries.  If someone wants you to be stay at work until midnight, you do it.  You sell your entire life to the job when it’s happening.  I have no union, I get no overtime, no designated lunch breaks, and no real guarantee of future work.  Hollywood!

Normally, I could stagger my jobs and allow time in between to write and work on my own projects.  But this past year we’ve been saving money like crazy for The Big Day, and I’ve been stacking jobs back to back.  If I enjoyed my work, this wouldn’t be SO bad, because I like being very busy.  Unfortunately– hold on to your wine glass– I don’t enjoy my job.  I like the people I work with, and I like the film industry, but I mainly sit at a desk and do paperwork, which is what I was trying to avoid doing with my life.  The worst part is, I don’t want to go any further up the ladder in this field, and all of my peers are starting to do exactly that.  I probably could have moved up over a year ago, and now my competitive nature is getting the best of me.  I have reached an impasse, and the wedding has to be over for me to move forward…

To top the whole mess off, at this party, my BFF & MOH who had driven down from SF after having her heart suddenly and completely broken, was holding her shit together just fine.  Epic fail on my part. “Waaahhh I’m so busy planning my awesome wedding & I feel so lost!! Comfort me!!”  She didn’t see it that way, but… seriously?

Thankfully, the meltdown had nothing to do with the vows I’m about to swear for ever and ever.  I’m still really psyched about those.

Wedding Query of the Day: Weddings vs. Circuses

I read my usual wedding blogs over breakfast this morning, only to find yet ANOTHER circus-themed wedding post on 100 Layer Cake! Yes, this is an absurdly popular theme, not to mention carnival-themed weddings, steampunk weddings, and 20s flapper-themed weddings.  Maybe you’ve seen Hunger Games inspiration boards, and Star Wars/Tim Burton/D&D weddings on Off Beat Bride, but those are rare (and ultimately based on the couples’ serious fandom/personality/interests).  Let’s just focus on circus-themed weddings.

My query: why does anyone want their wedding to be circus-themed?  Unless your family is circus folk and the circus life is your heritage, I don’t get it.  (Although, if your family were circus folk, you wouldn’t have a circus-themed wedding. You’d have a circus wedding, in an actual circus tent.)

Some of these weddings aren’t even that over the (big…ughIhatemyself) top, but I bristle at them nonetheless:

1.  HAVE ANY OF THESE PEOPLE EVEN BEEN TO A CIRCUS?!?  I went to a circus once, and it was smelly and weird. The elephants looked depressed and the clowns were obviously sketchy.  The trapeze artists were cool, but you don’t see any trapeze artists at circus-themed weddings.  (Yet.)

2.  Who wants to attend a circus-themed wedding?  Who wants peanuts and cotton candy at a wedding?  “(Bride) & (Groom), omg I had so much fun at your circus-themed wedding!!  I will always remember eating cheap food and watching that guy breathe fire!  Oh, and the eternal promise you swore in front of everyone blah blah blah mainly I loved the carousel!!”  That would be my fear, personally.

I guess the other side of this argument is: let people do their wedding however they want, and they open the door to truly dazzling displays of creativity.  Or, why should a wedding be just a wedding?

To me, circus-themed weddings represent the worst of the wedding industry: let’s spend a crap-ton of money, turn a wedding into something else entirely, put it on the internet paired with the word “vintage”, and everyone will want it too.

goodbye, green dragon

I said goodbye forever to the only car I’ve ever owned today.  

I bought it for a song from my own mother and put 90 thousand miles on it in 7 years.  I drove it from the east coast to the west coast, from LA to the Canadian border.  Then a drunk driver hit it (and 5 other parked cars!), got to the end of the block, and fled on foot.  Dude is probably in jail, or still hiding somewhere in West Hollywood.  Which is a worse fate to wish on him?

Slightly weird opener to a wedding blog, but it’s just the kind of thing that made me (finally) start documenting the wacky world of wedding planning.  I think the reason there aren’t more documenting-my-wedding blogs (are there?) is because brides & grooms are usually too godsdamn* busy, oh I don’t know… sending back misprinted invites, figuring out what stamps to use for the invites because the ones they wanted were discontinued and they don’t want the cheeseball “wedding” stamps, or they were painstakingly affixing stamps to 100+ invitations.  Cause that’s what I did today, among other thrilling wedding adventures, and that’s why I’m writing this at 12:30am.

For the last year of my engagement, so much crazy bullshit has happened that I can not believe I didn’t start this blog sooner.  BS happens everyday to everyone, but when you’re planning a wedding the H is O.  All that BS is viewed through the lens of THE WEDDING.  A car getting totaled is never fun, but 3 months before a wedding it means revisions to the wedding budget and schedule.  I have to go car shopping next weekend, when I really should be working on decorations for the ceremony aisle chairs.  I do realize how crazy that sentence reads, and it’s exactly why I have to start writing it all out.

*Battlestar Galactica ref, Game of Thrones ref, OR BOTH?  You decide.